Okay, okay… so I told myself that I wasn’t going to post every day, but here it is, day two and already my second post. Don’t get used to this, I don’t actually want to post every day, but it seems that many things should be said/recorded early on along my journey.
To begin, thanks to everyone for your support (expressed in comments here, on FB, and in emails), I really do appreciate it. Already, I have a standing ‘walking date’ with a friend/coworker of mine—we’re going to be hitting the Stratford walking oval every Monday and Wednesday after teaching. I look forward to the increased heart rate, release of stress, and the loads of laughs I know we’re going to have!
If anyone else wants to join, you’re welcome to come along… or if you’re unavailable, I still have five days open to schedule some exercise in!
About Journeys
Journeys happen for a reason. Mine has begun because I remember waking up one day thinking, “how’d I get this fat?” I am fat. That’s the truth. In general, it doesn’t actually bother me… I am funny, animated, open, loving, sexy… I love me, truly. What I don’t love is how the fat (and by fat, I mean weight) is making me feel, and knowing what it can lead to in my future.
I haven’t always been fat. When in school (elementary and secondary), I wasn’t fat. I wasn’t skinny, thin, or slender, but I was a healthy size and weight for me. I skated in the winters, played softball every summer, and was a rugby girl in the fall. I’m not inactive now, but I am definitely not nearly as active as I once was. After much self-reflection, I think that the slowing down of activities combined with a series of events certainly have contributed to me being the size/weight that I am now.
Event number one:
After high school and into university I met “the man of my dreams”. We were together for over 8 years when one day (while living in Toronto) he announced to me that he wanted to “f*ck, have fun, and not be responsible for any of my [his] actions.” Shocking? Yes, yes it was… to say the least. The relationship ended, I moved back to PEI, and then probably experienced some sort of undiagnosed depression. Obviously, I am so totally past that now (please don’t feel sorry or bad for me, everything happens for a reason), but that was definitely when I started to eat for ‘emotional reasons’ rather than for nutritious reasons. BTW: peanut butter is my nemesis.
After high school and into university I met “the man of my dreams”. We were together for over 8 years when one day (while living in Toronto) he announced to me that he wanted to “f*ck, have fun, and not be responsible for any of my [his] actions.” Shocking? Yes, yes it was… to say the least. The relationship ended, I moved back to PEI, and then probably experienced some sort of undiagnosed depression. Obviously, I am so totally past that now (please don’t feel sorry or bad for me, everything happens for a reason), but that was definitely when I started to eat for ‘emotional reasons’ rather than for nutritious reasons. BTW: peanut butter is my nemesis.
Event number two:
I became a mom in 2003. It was the worst and best day of my life. I loved being pregnant and I absolutely adore being a mom. What I hated (and still do) was the delivery of my son: my water broke 22 hours prior to any sort of contractions. After sitting in the hospital for 29 hours, I was (finally) induced. About 5 hours later, my unborn child went into distress and an emergency caesarean section was needed to bring my son into the world (all of that is the ‘worst day of my life’ part). He was fine, and has been a healthy, thriving little monkey ever since (thus the ‘best day of my life’ part). However, my recovery was terrible. I remember trying to go for a walk about two weeks after he was born and I couldn’t make it a block and a half without extreme pain. It was almost a year before I didn’t feel pain… This certainly contributed to me not having any sort of exercise routine, and getting in to the habit of being ‘lazier’.
I became a mom in 2003. It was the worst and best day of my life. I loved being pregnant and I absolutely adore being a mom. What I hated (and still do) was the delivery of my son: my water broke 22 hours prior to any sort of contractions. After sitting in the hospital for 29 hours, I was (finally) induced. About 5 hours later, my unborn child went into distress and an emergency caesarean section was needed to bring my son into the world (all of that is the ‘worst day of my life’ part). He was fine, and has been a healthy, thriving little monkey ever since (thus the ‘best day of my life’ part). However, my recovery was terrible. I remember trying to go for a walk about two weeks after he was born and I couldn’t make it a block and a half without extreme pain. It was almost a year before I didn’t feel pain… This certainly contributed to me not having any sort of exercise routine, and getting in to the habit of being ‘lazier’.
Event number three:
With the birth of my son came the end of my smoking. I quit cold turkey. It was easy because I had better things to do (like being a parent and a university student)! Unfortunately, quitting smoking lead to me snacking to fill in for all of the cravings… I don’t have any sort of cravings now, but I certainly am in the habit of snacking!
With the birth of my son came the end of my smoking. I quit cold turkey. It was easy because I had better things to do (like being a parent and a university student)! Unfortunately, quitting smoking lead to me snacking to fill in for all of the cravings… I don’t have any sort of cravings now, but I certainly am in the habit of snacking!
There have been many, many events that have occurred over my life. Most of them have been fantastic, only a handful not so fantastic… I am, truly, a very happy person who loves life so I don’t want you to read my above comments and take any sadness from them. That certainly isn’t the goal of this post. Nope, this post is to point to some very specific moments in my life which have contributed to me not paying attention to myself and not making healthy lifestyle choices.
I think that recognizing those events and seeing how they have impacted me (mentally and physically) will allow me to recognize how similar ‘traumas’ could impact my health in the future. I think that awareness now will allow me to make conscious healthy choices in the future (i.e.: take up boxing as a form of releasing anger rather than eating Reese Peanut Butter Cups).
Thus, the journey needed to begin, and so it continues…
:-*
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